


Just Want You Here Tonight

by moongirl24



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 10:06:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/417625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moongirl24/pseuds/moongirl24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke and Noah celebrate Christmas - and think back on past Christmases spent together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Want You Here Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey.

_Christmas 2015 – Present Time_  
  
Making love in front of the fireplace always seemed like such a cliché. It was something out of those too-perfect-to-be-realistic movies or badly written romance novels. And Luke had just never seen him and Noah as that kind of couple, anyway. Their time together included too many bumps in the road, too many challenges and too many real feelings to be anything close to a cliché.  
  
But as it turned out, making love in front of the fireplace was also pretty damn romantic. Especially when the room was being illuminated only by the lights from the Christmas tree, and, of course, the fireplace, and he and Noah were spending their very first Christmas Eve together as a married couple. Under the circumstances, Luke figured that no matter how they had ended up spending the evening it would have been one of the most romantic nights of his life, but as it was, he was more than happy with how the evening had progressed so far.  
  
He snuggled close to Noah under the blanket he had pulled over the both of them, and took a moment to just bask a little in this moment of pure happiness and satisfaction. He was pretty sure he wasn’t exaggerating if he ranked this moment right up there among the top five happiest times of his life. The road leading up to this moment had been long and windy (and if that wasn’t a clichéd phrase, Luke didn’t know what was, but somehow it seemed to fit), and there had been times, many times, in fact, when Luke doubted that they would ever get here. But in the end they were both too determined, too stubborn and, most of all, too much in love with each other to ever settle for anything or anyone else.  
  
And now it was official, on paper, and in spoken promises declared in front of family and friends and anyone else who cared (and in the carefully selected words engraved on the inside of their rings, words meant for their eyes only).  
  
They were Luke and Noah Snyder-Mayer now. Married. Husbands.  
  
Luke found Noah’s hand under the blanket and lifted it to his lips, kissing the ring on his finger. The gesture made Noah smile, and Luke thought that Noah was never more beautiful than in moments like this, when it was just the two of them and Noah was open, unguarded, and completely trusting in himself, in Luke, and in them.  
  
“What are you thinking?” Luke murmured, finding a comfortable position halfway on top of Noah, Noah’s arms wrapping around him to keep him in place.  
  
Noah kissed his shoulder. “I’m thinking that I really, really love being married to you, Luke Snyder- _Mayer_.”  
  
It was something they never seemed to tire of, calling each other by their new and shared last name. It sent a rush through Luke every time it happened, as well as every time he met new people and reached out his hand to introduce himself. He figured they all probably wondered why he had such a stupid grin on his face every time he said his name, but he didn’t care. He was very (ridiculously, unbelievably) happily married to the most amazing guy in the universe, and so what if he was a little giddy about it? The world would just have to deal.  
  
“You know what else I’m thinking?” Noah asked, a shiver going through him as Luke turned his head to nuzzle against his neck. “I’m thinking that out of all the Christmases we have spent together, this one is shaping up to be the best.”  
  
Luke couldn’t disagree with that. The evening had been amazing (having their own, _private_ Christmas celebration was something that should definitely become a tradition), and in the morning they were heading out to the farm to spend the day with the rest of the Snyder family and hopefully have another great, and surely much more chaotic, day.  
  
“Do you remember our first Christmas together?” Luke asked. He couldn’t help it; nights like this had a way of making him start reminiscing about the past. Luckily, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.  
  
A smile flashed across Noah’s face at the memory. “How could I forget?”  
  
  
\----  
  
  
 _Christmas 2007_  
  
“I believe you owe me a walk to the pond,” Luke murmured into Noah’s ear. They were sitting next to each other on the living room couch, not quite cuddling, but not with a whole lot of distance between them either. Luke definitely wouldn’t have _minded_ cuddling up to Noah, but Noah was still adjusting to the whole being-and-having-a-boyfriend thing, and even though he had come a long way since that first kiss at WOAK, Luke figured that public displays of affection probably wasn’t something he would be very comfortable with (even if Luke didn’t exactly consider the farm public, he knew that Noah probably did, the Snyders still being somewhat strangers to him).  
  
So for now he settled for sitting next to Noah and lightly holding his hand. Noah seemed okay with that, and Luke, for one, was more than okay with it. For the first time in his life, he had someone special to celebrate Christmas with. Someone who loved him, if he was to believe the words written in the card that Noah had given him the night before. Someone who helped him out of that damn wheelchair, and at the same time gave Luke the chance to find out what it felt like to be in love.  
  
Yes, Luke Snyder was feeling very, very okay with just about everything right now.  
  
Noah turned and looked at him now. “I guess I do,” he said slowly, sounding a little hesitant. “Are you sure you’re feeling up to it, though? I don’t want you to do too much, too soon.”  
  
Luke sighed, a little exasperated. “Noah, I was stuck in that chair for months. It was _hell_ not being able to move around like I wanted. And now that I can walk again, I really don’t think a walk to the pond is too much to ask for. Besides, you promised.” He knew that he was pouting, but it seemed to help, because Noah gave in and got to his feet, offering Luke a hand. Luke took it and let Noah help him up, because even though his legs seemed to get stronger every day now, they still weren’t a hundred percent, and seemingly simple things like getting up from couches and getting out of bed in the morning were still difficult.  
  
Outside it was cold, but it felt good to breathe in the crisp air after having spent the whole day inside the house. They walked slowly down the path leading to the pond, Luke being supported by his cane on one side, and Noah’s arm on the other. Still, he couldn’t believe how such a simple thing as _walking_ could bring him so much joy. It was a freedom he hoped he would never, ever take for granted again.  
  
“Are you doing okay?” Noah asked when they were about halfway to the pond. He sounded worried, and Luke sighed impatiently and was about to tell him that he wasn’t made of porcelain, and that with their current speed a snail would easily beat them, and there was no way he would get tired from that, so could Noah _please_ just relax?  
  
But it was kind of sweet too, the way Noah kept worrying and seemed so intent on doing the right thing by Luke. It showed Luke that Noah truly, genuinely _cared_ , and how could he fault Noah for that?  
  
So in the end he wrapped both his arms around Noah’s arm, still holding on to the cane but now being fully supported by Noah, and pressed a kiss to Noah’s jacket covered shoulder. “I’m perfect,” he said, meaning it. “Thank you for walking with me.”  
  
“Anytime,” Noah murmured, and judging by his tone of voice, Luke was pretty sure that Noah meant it, too.  
  
They soon reached their destination, and Noah helped Luke sit down on the bench that Luke’s grandfather had once made and placed there just for this purpose. Luke sighed quietly in relief and reluctantly had to admit to himself that his legs were still a long way from their usual strength. Still, he walked here. He supposed that, in itself, should be counted as a victory.  
  
“You okay?” Noah asked, his arm coming to rest lightly around Luke’s waist. It was a small gesture, but it felt intimate somehow, and it made Luke lean into him.  
  
Luke nodded happily, feeling embraced by Noah’s warmth. “I’m good. You? Have you had a good day?” Noah had seemed a little overwhelmed by his first Snyder Christmas experience, and Luke couldn’t really blame him for that, but he hoped that Noah had felt the love and the unity as well, that he had felt a part of it.  
  
“I’ve had a great day,” Noah said, and Luke was relieved to hear a smile in his voice. “I guess I finally understand why Christmas is something that most people look forward to.”  
  
Luke sensed a story there, and not a particularly happy one. Noah hadn’t said much about what Christmas used to be like for him, but from the few things he had shared, Luke got the impression that Christmas was as non-existent in the Mayer household as hugs and words of encouragement.  
  
But he didn’t want to ruin their mood by talking about Noah’s father. So he just leaned his head on Noah’s shoulder and said, “Well, I’m glad you’re here. It makes everything so much better.”  
  
He got an idea, and slowly, with a bit of effort, got to his feet. “Come here,” he murmured, motioning for Noah to stand as well. “I want to do something.”  
  
Noah looked questioningly up at him, but he didn’t say anything as he rose from the bench and stood in front of Luke. Luke smiled as he leaned in to kiss him.  
  
He made it last, wanting to feel the kiss all the way down to his toes, and he wanted Noah to as well. And judging by the dazed look on Noah’s face when Luke finally pulled back, he figured he had done okay. He wasn’t feeling too steady on his feet himself, to be honest, and that had nothing to do with the fact that his legs still weren’t at their full strength.  
  
“We can do this without you having to bend down now,” he whispered, a little out of breath. “It’s one of the things I’ve been looking forward to the most.”  
  
“It was… nice,” Noah got out with some effort, and he looked at Luke with wide eyes. Then he surprised Luke by pulling him into his arms, hiding his face against Luke’s shoulder and just holding him so tightly. “God, Luke. You just… you are-” He made a frustrated sound when he couldn’t seem to find the right words, but Luke heard him, and he pulled Noah closer to him as the butterflies in his stomach fluttered like crazy.  
  
“I love you, too,” he whispered. “I do, Noah. So much.”  
  
He heard Noah draw a breath and then slowly let it back out but he didn’t let go of Luke, if anything, he clutched him even tighter. And Luke was feeling so content and at home just where he was, so he figured he’d just stay there for a while. It was a very good place to be.  
  
  
\----  
  
  
 _Christmas 2015 – Present Time_  
  
“I was so different back then,” Noah said thoughtfully. “I knew I loved you, but I didn’t know how to show you. And I was too scared, anyway. You made me feel all these new and amazing and terrifying things, and I didn’t know how to handle that.”  
  
“You did alright,” Luke murmured, his hand making lazy patterns on Noah’s chest. “You made me feel special.”  
  
“You are special,” Noah whispered, kissing Luke’s forehead. “That’s why I have never been able to let you go, never been able to get over you. Even when I should, even when I tried… I couldn’t.”  
  
“Same here. Even when I was dating someone else, you were the one I longed for.”  
  
Noah touched his forehead to Luke’s. “God, we’re quite the pair, aren’t we?”  
  
Luke chuckled. “Well, we’re married now, so it doesn’t matter. We never have to get over each other.”  
  
They were quiet for a while, considering that. Luke knew that this was what he had always longed for, even years ago, back when he was using alcohol to try and fill that void inside. He didn’t quite know, then, what it was he was searching for. But it was this. Feeling secure in his love for someone, knowing that it was something that would last for life, and have that person love him back just as much.  
  
Getting married had only increased that feeling. Even though they had shared a life for years now, it all felt more final now. It was the two of them for life, and it was something that no one could take away from them.  
  
God, now he was getting all cheesy and sentimental. Moving on.  
  
And Luke didn’t know why, but all of a sudden he thought of another Christmas, four… no, five years ago now. It had been a Christmas with some very unexpected turn of events…  
  
  
\----  
  
  
 _Christmas 2010_  
  
Luke didn’t know why he was so nervous. So Noah was coming to spend Christmas with them at the farm. So it would be the first time they saw each other since Noah left for L.A. But so what? It was _Noah_. It wasn’t like they hadn’t kept in touch during these months. They had, with phone calls at least once a week, with occasional e-mails, and brief messages left on each others’ Facebook walls. They were friends, sort of. So there really was no reason to be so nervous now. It was just Noah.  
  
Except that was a big lie. Noah would never be _just Noah_. And that was the problem.  
  
And then, all of a sudden, he was there. Looking all tall and gorgeous and grown-up, and he was hugging Luke long and hard, making Luke feel all fluttery inside, and then he hugged Luke’s parents and siblings and smiled that too-beautiful-to-be-fair smile of his as he told them how good it was to be home.  
  
The nervousness disappeared a bit after that, but Luke was still feeling tense. He found that he didn’t quite know how to act around Noah. Being friends online and over the phone turned out to be different than being friends in real life. And it didn’t help that Luke’s heart seemed to speed up every time he looked at Noah. Noah seemed to have this new-found confidence about him that Luke didn’t quite know what to do with, and it was kind of annoying too because Luke was usually the confident one and why did it feel like those roles were suddenly reversed now?  
  
And why did that confidence suit Noah so well?  
  
But damn it, Luke was not about to be reduced to some insecure, fumbling mess. So when Lily asked him to go back to the house to pick up some Christmas presents that she seemed to have left behind, Luke turned to Noah and asked him if he wanted to come along. And Noah looked a little surprised but he agreed, and all of a sudden they were in the car together and the awkward silence that filled the space between them made Luke question why on earth he had thought that this would be a good idea.  
  
But then they arrived at the house, and for some reason that seemed to make some of the tension go away. Luke was even able to make Noah laugh at one of his silly jokes, and it was kind of nice to discover that he could still do that.  
  
“I think the presents are in one of the guest rooms, so I’m just going to run upstairs and get them. I’ll be back in a minute,” Luke quickly explained, before running up the stairs. He found the bag of presents in the guest room closet, and hurried back down the hall, not wanting to keep Noah waiting.  
  
But Noah wasn’t waiting down in the living room. As Luke passed the open door to his own room, he came to a sudden halt when he discovered Noah inside, seemingly looking at something outside the window.  
  
Luke stepped cautiously inside the room. “Noah?”  
  
Noah whirled around, looking a little guilty. “Sorry,” he said. “I know I shouldn’t be in here, but I just… I wanted to see if you needed any help so I followed you, and then the door to your room was open, so I just… I’m sorry.”  
  
“It’s okay,” Luke said quietly. He put the bag of presents down by the wall, and took a few steps closer to Noah. “You have memories in this room as well.”  
  
Luke didn’t miss how Noah’s eyes quickly went to Luke’s bed before they landed back on Luke again. “Yeah.”  
  
They just looked at each other for a long time. And suddenly there was so much that Luke wanted to say. Needed to say. Only he didn’t know how. He didn’t know if he could. Didn’t know if he had the right to. Didn’t know if he was able to put what he was feeling right then (which was what he had always felt, only he seemed to have forgotten that for a while) into words.  
  
And then one of them most have moved, or maybe both of them did, because suddenly there was almost no space between them. And Noah was looking at him with an intensity that almost bordered on desperation, and there were so many emotions flickering across his face, that Luke was left motionless, speechless, and unable to tear his gaze away from Noah’s way too gorgeous eyes. He no longer saw the confident, successful Noah who was living the Hollywood life and made Luke question everything about himself. He only saw _his_ Noah, the one Luke knew better than anyone and would never, ever not want in his life.  
  
And then he just stopped trying so hard.  
  
“I miss you, Noah,” he whispered, and he could hear the same desperation in his own voice that he saw in Noah’s eyes. “I _miss_ you.”  
  
And Noah continued to stare at him for a few seconds, but then his shoulders slumped a little and he sighed and suddenly he was wrapping his arms around Luke and pulling him close, and then they were kissing with an intensity and a hunger and a passion that almost knocked Luke off his feet. But Noah was holding him so tightly and for the first time in… _forever_ , Luke felt safe and at home and _right_.  
  
Soon, very soon, he was way past thinking, so when clothes started falling he didn’t question it, he just went with the rush, the feelings and the way his whole body _ached_ for Noah. They fell on the bed together, the same bed that they both knew so well, and everything was so intense, so hot, and kissing became a necessity as their bodies tangled together and reacquainted themselves with each other, inside and out.  
  
It wasn’t until later, when he was lying next to Noah, wrapped in his arms, and their breathing was gradually returning to normal, that he realized that this might not have been such a good idea.  
  
Not that he would have been able to stop it, he had been helpless to do anything about it, and there was no way he would ever regret being with Noah, but still. They hadn’t talked about this. At all. And true, Luke may have thought about it occasionally, or maybe even more than occasionally, but in his head this always happened after they had talked things through and made a mutual decision to give their relationship another go. Because sex for him had always been about so much more than just the physical part. And Noah was the same (which was why they had waited so long to sleep together that first time).  
  
And then this happened.  
  
And now, what? What was they supposed to do now? What did Noah want? Luke knew what he wanted, and if anything, this had only made him want it more. But Noah was living this whole other life now, one that he maybe didn’t want to include Luke in. Maybe one night stands were a part of Noah’s life now. Maybe Luke was just a fling.  
  
Maybe Noah would leave, and Luke would be left behind, again, with a whole new set of memories, and how was he supposed to move on now?  
  
Yeah, he was kind of freaking out.  
  
“Stop freaking out,” Noah murmured, his voice surprisingly close to Luke’s ear.  
  
Luke could feel himself blush. “Sorry,” he mumbled against Noah’s shoulder. “It’s just… what _was_ this?”  
  
Noah waited a long time and seemed to choose his words carefully before he said, “This was whatever you want it to be.”  
  
Luke moved so he could look at Noah’s face. “Whatever _I_ want it to be? So if I said that I want us to get back together, you would agree to that? And if I said that this was a one-time thing, and that I don’t want anything more, you would be okay with that, too?”  
  
Noah swallowed. “I wouldn’t necessarily be okay with it, but if that’s what you wanted, then that’s what we would do.”  
  
Luke sighed. “No, Noah, that’s not…” He tried again, “You’re talking like… like what you think doesn’t even matter.”  
  
“I don’t mean it like that,” Noah said. “It’s just that… you know what I feel. At least you should know. It’s the same way I’ve felt ever since I met you. You’re the only one for me, Luke, and that’s not going to change. But I know that you have been through hell this year, and that you might not be ready for… for the same things that I want. So if you don’t want anything more than… than _this_ , then that’s okay. I can wait.”  
  
Luke didn’t even know what to say to that. How could Noah still be so… so _selfless_ , so willing to do anything for him? Even after everything Luke put him through this year?  
  
“I love you,” he blurted out, because it seemed to be the only response he could give to what Noah just said, and because it was the truest thing of all. “I probably don’t deserve you, but I love you, and I want to be with you. But I’m scared because… I honestly don’t know if I’m ready, or if it’s the right thing for me right now. And I might end up messing everything up. But… I want to be with you, Noah. I’ve never stopped wanting that.”  
  
“Oh, thank god,” Noah breathed, and pulled Luke to him. “I know what I just said, but I honestly don’t know what I would have done if you had told me that this was a one-time thing.”  
  
Luke smiled a little, because apparently they had been worrying about the same thing, and for some reason that made him feel a little better about everything. He tucked his head under Noah’s chin, one of his favorite places to be.  
  
“So, now that we have that out of the way… where do we go from here?”  
  
Noah was quiet for a moment before he said, “Can’t we just… have Christmas together? I mean, I’m staying for a few days and maybe we could just use that time to figure out how to be us again. And then we can decide what to do.”  
  
“That sounds perfect,” Luke said, because it really did. “And speaking of… as much as I would love to stay like this forever, we should probably get back to the farm before they start questioning what we’re up to.”  
  
“Um, yeah, I guess you’re right. I do not want to have to explain to them what it was that took us so long.”  
  
Luke grinned. “Believe me, neither do I.”  
  
So they got dressed and left the house, and in the car on the way back to the farm, with Noah’s hand resting on his knee, Luke couldn’t help but wonder at how quickly things could change.  
  
  
\----  
  
  
 _Christmas 2015 – Present Time_  
  
Luke’s train of thought ended when Noah moved next to him. “I’m just going to the bathroom,” he whispered, kissing Luke lightly before sitting up. “Are you comfortable? You’re not cold, are you?”  
  
Luke shook his head. “No, I’m good.” He smiled as Noah leaned down to kiss him once more before he got up and left the living room. Luke watched him leave, enjoying the view immensely, even though he was already starting to miss Noah’s warm body next to him.  
  
And that was a little pathetic, probably, but damn it, he was celebrating the first Christmas with Noah as his husband and he was allowed to want to have Noah close to him at all times. Even though Noah would be gone for just a few minutes and was only in the next room. It wasn’t like that one Christmas, a few years back…  
  
  
\----  
  
  
 _Christmas 2012_  
  
Luke had been moody all day. He really didn’t want to speak to anyone, which was a little inconvenient, seeing as the whole Snyder clan was gathered at the farm to celebrate Christmas. But Luke didn’t feel the Christmas spirit this year. Noah wasn’t here, and without him, nothing felt right.  
  
Noah had left their L.A. apartment two weeks ago, to go shoot a movie somewhere in Oregon. He was supposed to be done by now, and the plan was for him to meet Luke in Oakdale to have Christmas with him and the rest of the family. But a couple of days ago Noah had called and explained that they had hit a few roadblocks and wouldn’t be able to finish in time for Christmas. Because they could only use the location they were shooting at for a limited period, Noah was forced to stay and finish the shooting rather than going to Oakdale as planned.  
  
Noah had sounded so down on the phone, so Luke had done his best to stay positive, despite the bad news. But after they hung up, he didn’t know whether to hit something or sit down and cry. This _sucked_. Noah being away for two weeks was bad enough in itself, and the only thing that had made it _almost_ okay, was knowing that they would have Christmas together at the end of it. And now they wouldn’t even have that. Luke absolutely _hated_ it.  
  
His family did their best to cheer him up, but their efforts only annoyed Luke. He knew he shouldn’t take his frustrations out on them, but no matter what they did, it didn’t change the fact that Noah wasn’t here, and god, Luke _missed_ him.  
  
When Luke had spoken with him again the day before, Noah had sounded close to tears, which only made the whole thing even worse. Sure, Luke hated that Noah wouldn’t be home for Christmas, but at least he knew that Noah would be out there doing something he loved. But now all the excitement about the movie was gone from Noah’s voice, and instead he only sounded sad. Obviously he hated this just as much as Luke, and maybe Luke should have found some comfort in that, but he didn’t. It only made him hate the whole thing even more.  
  
“Noah,” he said firmly, because having Noah sit there and feel sorry for himself wouldn’t help anyone. “This sucks, I think we can both agree on that. But that’s the way it is. And we have to make the best of it. And I want you to go out there and be brilliant, Noah. Be brilliant, make the most amazing movie people have ever seen, which I know you can do, and then you come home to me. And after that, I may not be letting you out of the apartment ever again.”  
  
Noah gave a little laugh, but then he was quiet for a while. And then he just said, “I love you, Luke. I _love_ you.”  
  
And it made Luke feel a little bit better for a short moment, but then they had to hang up, and everything sort of sucked again.  
  
And now it was Christmas Eve, and nothing felt right.  
  
He had just had dinner with his family at the farm and now they were all gathered in the living room. Luke had tried his best to pull himself together, so when Ethan came and asked him to read him a story, Luke had done so half-heartedly (Ethan correcting him several times because apparently he wasn’t doing the voices right). They were now almost at the end of the book, and Ethan was half asleep on his lap.  
  
There was knock at the door, and Luke half noticed that Holden got up to answer it. He continued reading, and was just turning the last page when Holden returned to the living room.  
  
“Luke,” he said, making Luke look up from the book. There was a grin on Holden’s face that Luke didn’t quite understand. “I think Santa left a present for you on the doorstep.”  
  
Luke rolled his eyes, because Santa, really? But he put the book down and carefully maneuvered the now sleeping Ethan down on the couch before getting up. “What, you got me a car for Christmas? A horse? A motorbike?” He sent his father a look, but Holden just kept grinning and Luke figured he might as well find out what was going on.  
  
So he walked through the kitchen, opened the door, and then…  
  
He felt like the breath had been knocked out of him.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Luke,” Noah said, with that beautiful, deep voice of his, and Luke just fell into his arms, back where he belonged.  
  
And he had a million questions, like, what was going on, and what was Noah doing here and why wasn’t he in Oregon? But none of that really mattered, because Noah was here now, at the farm, with Luke, where he should be, and Luke got to hold him and touch him and now he was going to kiss him, and he did, and it was so intense that it made Luke feel dizzy. But Noah was there to hold him and Luke just leaned into him, into that warmth that he had missed so much.   
  
And finally, _finally_ it started to feel like Christmas.  
  
  
\----  
  
  
 _Christmas 2015 – Present Time_  
  
“What are you thinking about?” Noah asked, shaking Luke out of his thoughts. He hadn’t even noticed Noah returning from the bathroom.  
  
Luke smiled lazily. “I’m thinking about that Christmas when grandmother got so tired of my miserable face that she flew you back from Oregon so we could be together.”  
  
Noah barked a laugh. “I remember that. She arranged it so that I could use the location for a few more days and then she sent her jet to fly me back to Oakdale. I didn’t put up much of a resistance.”  
  
“I guess spending Christmas apart doesn’t work very well for either one of us,” Luke said, and reached out a hand to Noah who had sat down on the floor next to him. “Come back here,” he murmured. “It’s starting to feel empty without you.”  
  
Noah found his place next to Luke, and Luke sighed as he settled back into Noah’s arms. _Home._ Noah buried his face in Luke’s hair for a moment, breathing him in, and then he murmured, “Last year’s Christmas was a pretty good one.”  
  
Luke couldn’t help but smile at that. Last year’s Christmas was kind of amazing…  
  
  
\----  
  
  
 _Christmas 2014_  
  
Luke breathed a sigh of relief as he entered the quiet and peaceful barn. He loved being back in Oakdale, he loved being with his family again, but he had forgotten just how chaotic and _noisy_ they could be. It made his head hurt, and in the end he had decided that he needed a little break. He had thrown a glance at Noah, who seemed to be having the time of his life where he was sitting with Ethan and Natalie, playing a board game, and smiled briefly to himself before turning to Holden and volunteering to go out to the barn to feed the horses.  
  
He hummed to himself as he walked around the barn, making sure that in addition to the regular food, each of the horses got an extra large carrot as well, because it _was_ Christmas after all. Everyone deserved a little extra at Christmas.  
  
He took his time, feeling relaxed and at ease in the peaceful atmosphere of the barn. He missed this place. He missed the horses. Living in L.A. definitely had its perks, but Luke had realized a long time ago that it was nothing like home. He would always be a farm boy at heart, and he and Noah had already decided that they were going to move back to Oakdale someday. Someday soon, Luke hoped. Noah had built quite a solid reputation for himself in the movie industry by now, and he was pretty sure he would get the jobs no matter where he lived, and Luke was working freelance for a magazine, a job that he enjoyed but that wasn’t very stable.  
  
He supposed there wasn’t much keeping them from moving back. So soon, hopefully.  
  
He heard the sound of steps behind him, and a moment later a pair of strong, familiar arms wrapped around him. “Your dad told me you sneaked off,” Noah murmured in his ear.  
  
Luke leaned into him. “I didn’t sneak off,” he argued half-heartedly. “The horses needed to be fed.”  
  
“Mmhmm.” Noah was kissing his neck now, distracting him in the most wonderful of ways. Luke sighed in satisfaction.  
  
“Maybe I needed a little break,” he mumbled, closing his eyes. “Have they always been so…” he trailed off.  
  
“Yes, always, and that’s what you love about them,” Noah replied with a smile in his voice, leaving one final kiss on Luke’s neck before pulling away, turning Luke around in his arms. “You want me to help you finish up here?”  
  
Luke leaned in to give him a quick kiss. “Sure. You can give them water, if you want.”  
  
They worked quietly side by side for a while, until all the horses had been given food and water. Luke took one final look around, making sure that everything was at it should be, and then they stepped back out of the barn.  
  
It was such a beautiful night outside. Luke looked up at the dark, clear sky with the millions of stars shining down on them, feeling very small in the face of the whole universe.  
  
He didn’t feel like going back inside the house just yet. So he reached out and found Noah’s hand, pulling him towards a make-shift bench outside the barn door. “Sit with me for a while?” he asked and Noah came willingly, sitting down next to Luke on the bench (which was really just a couple of boxes that Holden had placed there for whenever someone needed a breather).  
  
The night was so still around them. Luke almost didn’t want to break the silence by talking, but he had never been able to keep quiet for too long at the time, so in the end he leaned his head on Noah’s shoulder and said quietly, “I love being here.”  
  
“Me too,” Noah said. “It feels good to be home.”  
  
“Very. I feel like there isn’t much time for just you and me, though.”  
  
“Well, are you surprised? It’s just another typical Snyder Christmas. People everywhere, all over the place, all the time.” He was quiet for a moment before he added, “And quite frankly I wouldn’t have it any other way.”  
  
Luke turned his head a little to look up at him. “You adore them,” he murmured affectionately.  
  
Noah wrapped his arms around Luke. “I adore you more.”  
  
“I know,” Luke whispered, and had to swallow a sudden lump in his throat. Sometimes it just overwhelmed him, still, that Noah felt that way about him. That he loved him so much. Luke knew he wasn’t the easiest person to be with, he could be high maintenance sometimes, he was way too impulsive for his own good and he could be irrational and probably just a real pain in the ass a lot of the time… but for some reason Noah still chose to stick around. Since their last reunion, four years ago, Noah had been his rock – always there, always solid, always giving Luke everything he needed.  
  
And Luke just loved him so much. Noah was his life. His family. _Everything._  
  
And there was that impulsive streak right now, because a moment later he murmured, “Marry me, Noah.”  
  
Noah, who had slowly been stroking Luke’s arm, suddenly stilled. “W-what?”  
  
Luke turned to look at him again. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized that this was kind of a huge moment, and he really shouldn’t feel so calm, especially since he hadn’t planned this at all, but he did. He put his hands on Noah’s cheeks, stroking his thumbs softly back and forth a few times. “Marry me,” he repeated. “I love you so much. And I don’t have a ring or anything, but I… I want to keep you forever, Noah. Let me, please?”  
  
Noah just looked at him, his eyes all big and wide and gorgeous. And then he reached up, covering Luke’s hands with his own. “I don’t need a ring, I just need you.”  
  
“So… is that a yes?” He wasn’t quite able to keep the anticipation from his voice.  
  
Noah looked at him as if he had just asked the dumbest question in the world. “Of course it’s a yes,” he whispered, touching his forehead to Luke’s. “Of course I’ll marry you. God, Luke… I _love_ you.”  
  
Luke didn’t have to lean in very far to kiss him. As he did, he thought that maybe it didn’t matter that he was impulsive and did things without thinking. Sometimes something very good came out of it.  
  
  
\----  
  
  
 _Christmas 2015 – Present Time_  
  
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget the reactions we got when we told the others we were getting married,” Luke said, smiling at the memory. “I remember Faith screaming. And my mom and grandma Emma wouldn’t stop crying.”  
  
“I don’t think Holden has ever hugged me that tightly,” Noah murmured. “And Ethan asked me if it meant that I would be his brother for real now.”  
  
“And Aaron was relieved because he could start buying us shared gifts for Christmas,” Luke chuckled.  
  
“Is it wrong that I’m a little worried about what he’s getting us this year?”  
  
“Well, actually… he told me last week that it was something rather sizeable. And today I saw a wrapped gift in his car that looked distinctly like the shape of a coat rack.”  
  
“Huh. Well, it is something that we could use. This place is a whole lot bigger than our apartment in L.A., and we did say we wanted practical things this year.”  
  
“Yeah, we need to fill this place up. It looks so empty.”  
  
“Well, we have the important things. A fireplace. A Christmas tree.” He paused, and then added, “A bed.”  
  
Luke grinned into Noah’s shoulder. “And speaking of… what do you say we move this party to the bedroom? The fire seems to be dying out, and it’s getting kind of late anyway. We need to get up early tomorrow, Ethan threatened to withhold Christmas presents if we were late.”  
  
They helped each other get to their feet, and a few minutes later they crawled into bed and found each other under the covers, snuggling close together like they always did. Luke tried his best to stifle a yawn, but was unsuccessful.  
  
“Go to sleep, Luke,” Noah murmured, kissing his forehead. “It’s been a long day.”  
  
“I don’t want it to end, though,” Luke admitted. “Turns out Christmas is even better when you’re married.”  
  
Noah smiled. “We’ll have tomorrow, though. And after that we’ll have the rest of our lives.”  
  
“Mmm, that sounds amazing,” Luke mumbled against Noah’s shoulder.  
  
“It will be.” Noah buried his face in Luke’s hair for a moment, whispering, “Merry Christmas. _Husband._ ”  
  
Luke snorted and smacked Noah’s arm lightly, even though he couldn’t help but smile as well, because he seriously _loved_ it when Noah called him that. “You’re such a dork.”  
  
“And yet, you still love me.”  
  
Luke sighed in mock exasperation. “One of life’s great mysteries.”  
  
It was Noah’s turn to hit him. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”  
  
“I’m lucky for a lot of reasons,” Luke murmured quietly, looking up at Noah.  
  
Noah’s eyes softened, and he leaned closer and gave Luke a long, lingering goodnight kiss, making Luke’s whole body tingle. He kept his eyes closed for a moment after Noah had pulled away, willing his heart to stop beating so fast. God, Noah was perfect. He was. Perfect for Luke.  
  
He snuggled closer, tracing his hand slowly down Noah’s arm. _All I want for Christmas is you_ , he thought and smiled a little to himself, because apparently he already had everything he wanted.  
  
 _Stop being so sappy, Snyder_ , he thought next. Then he remembered, and smiled wider as he corrected himself: _Snyder-_ Mayer. _I’m a Snyder-Mayer now._  
  
Oh well. A little sappiness never killed anyone.  
  
It was Christmas after all.  
  
\- END -


End file.
